


it's all in the cards

by kurojiri



Series: Iron Man Bingo 2019 Fills [6]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Betrayal, Card Games, Cards Against Humanity, Coping, F/M, Games, Gen, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, Insecure Tony Stark, Iron Man Bingo 2019, James "Rhodey" Rhodes is a Good Bro, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Child Abuse, Poor Life Choices, Precious Peter Parker, Tony Needs a Hug, but then recovering to make good choices
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-11-13 06:27:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18026489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kurojiri/pseuds/kurojiri
Summary: If he didn’t know any better his life could of had been seen as one giant cosmic joke.





	it's all in the cards

**Author's Note:**

> Only one more square away from my first bingo!!! Ya'll I'm hyped, but also happy of what I had been so far been able to accomplish since I got my card. 
> 
> Square Fill: Cards Against Humanity

_I drink to forget [Alcoholism]._  

 

Something about drinking had become a clutch for him, Tony could admit that, had to eventually when his twenties were chucked filled with them to be abnormally constant. College, and post had been raining on Tony forgetting where he partied of who he slept with, and always trying to forget how normal people stayed alive without a clutch like his.    
   
Did he fear death?    
   
No.    
   
But Tony had felt like he was around it too often to make it okay. Or sane. There had been trips to the hospital when it got close. His mom and father weren’t pleased about that; but it hadn’t been like he talked to them a lot. He missed his mom though, the bottle helped him to momentarily forget everything else that he hated from his life, to miss people less. If he drank enough nothing could hurt in those hours.    
   
That had been why chose that method of slinking off hours when his thoughts felt like thorns. Why sipping all his regrets had become a lifestyle he couldn’t put down. It had been something constant from the hell he had lived in since his conception.    
   
Sobriety had not been what he wanted back then, when his bones were still new. When he could afford concessions and casts when he fell over stairs or got knocked down by toilets. That had been why the years felt like seconds. He'd turned twenty, twenty-three until boom he hit thirty. A life was almost too cold, with few people he could trust.    
   
It had been his comfort zone. He drank to forget. Simple as that. 

 

 _This is the prime of my life. I’m young, hot, and full of [Moderate-to-severe joint pain.]_  

 

Becoming Iron Man had never occurred to Tony that it would ultimately change him and his life forever. Hell, he’d never thought people would want to be saved him either. Or that he would even be called that in the first place.    
   
His life really changed since he had built and redesigned them after many upgrades. Somehow it had jumped to Rhodey, Happy and Pepper to take precautions when he had blurted it out back then. The news over the world had their own opinions, and the government did too when they had tried taking them. He fought villains that he or his dad created. He broke some bones and bled over many clothes. It sort of been surreal that he made it his goal to rotate being Tony Stark and Iron Man.    
   
The world was changing alongside him.    
   
As a futurist, he had accepted that, but had so been becoming paranoid from the prospects of knowing his trials would never shorten. Someone would always be mad at him or his industry, someone would always want revenge, and Tony, he would always need his suit to accomplish the heavy lifting. He was born to be a rational guy. He had seen the signs too since Iron Man had become a fad. The world’s problems would always strike at him.    
   
Luckily, he was rich, smart and always adapting to the best of his abilities when a crisis would erupt in his midst. But that still didn’t hide the fact that his grip was slowly eroding. His nightmares, his fears, and all his rationality couldn’t be wrapped in the same dam. His body was not as new. Nor has his past conditioned for Tony to have a perfectly healthy body; even if he did work out.    
   
Drinking and partying had not been a smart thing for him back then, since he had a past of getting injured for those nights and when he was reckless in his lab hours of hardly sleeping. He was aging from all those habits. Someday he would not be able to live like he was now. It wouldn’t be smart or healthy to attempt it either by himself.    
   
That had been why he kept Pepper, the one person that he knew he loved dearly. For Happy being a good driver and bodyguard that had put with his antics. And Rhodey—Tony knew he wouldn’t alive without his best friend. He considered themselves to be brothers at this point in his life since it had become a lot more dangerous.    
   
Tony may have been at the prime of his life; but he knew it wouldn’t last forever. 

 

 _Why can’t I sleep at night? [Science]_  

 

His lab was just cozy. He knew where most of his stuff was and it had made sense. Tony wasn’t an awkward person, he out grew that since he had been shipped off to boarding school. (But he had still liked to being inside his lab where he didn’t have to interact a lot.) It was just a coincidence that he wouldn’t fall asleep either at night.    
   
“Sir, you have reached the limit of your lab hours. It is highly recommended that you put down your tools and get some sleep before your meeting at 6am.”    
   
Tony didn’t put down his screwdriver. “It's barely 1am. That’s too early to crash when I’m close to finishing this bad boy. Besides, I already told Pepper I wouldn’t be going.”    
   
“That may be, however, it is strongly advised and for your health and benefit to sleep more.”    
   
“JARVIS.”    
   
“Sir.”    
   
His A. I shouldn’t have that control over Tony. (But he couldn’t say no when he had sounded so much like—)    
   
“Alright, buddy. You win this round.”    
   
“Thank-you, Sir.”    
   
That didn’t mean that Tony’s streak of not sleeping was cured. He still woke up early and evaded Pepper’s glares. He loved her, very much, but Tony wanted to finish the upgrades for his new suit. The world kept orbiting, kept changing and that meant Tony had to do so too. They would understand. Hopefully without the world burning as a result. 

 

 _A romantic, candlelit dinner would be incomplete without [self-loathing]._   

 

Being in love with Pepper had not complicated everything else in his life.  

There had been days when it had felt like that, but Tony could say that it had been the world and its rules that been the cause. A lot has happened over the years: Tony had stopped drinking like he did in college, he still had a very small circle of people he liked, and he was Iron Man. But he had been thinking of quitting for a while. He wanted a happy ending.  

(He had almost died a lot of times too, so, Tony really believed that he deserved a bit of slack.)  

It hadn’t like he was saying that he hated his life, Tony just wanted the world to calm down. He wanted a vacation. A slow year. Also, for Pepper to not worry about him and his suits. But then, what was a life in Tony Stark’s without conflict.  

 

 

 _“Tony, I don’t know how long I can keep doing this.”_   

 _And he couldn’t either without her too._   

 

 

The accords then happened sometime later. So, that had been something. Then he learned about his parents, Barns and Steve—and Tony thought he knew everything about how to be a proper friend. Apparently, being lied to was still something in his life. But Pepper, she had always been telling the truth. They needed space, and Tony needed to learn how to have a candlelit dinner without self-loathing himself as the dinner got cold.  

He didn’t hate her choice, he had respected it since dating a hero in a dangerous world was asking for much. He knew it had been a tough choice for her to stay away from him; but they both knew he would have been devastated if she got hurt because of his choices.  

Tony still loved her.  

Even when it was quieter now. Bruce was still missing, Rhodey _got hurt_. And Steve and the others... Tony just wanted a nice night.  

 _Was that too much to ask_? 

 

 _My life is ruled by a vicious cycle of [daddy issues] and [A constant need for validation.]_  

 

Peter Parker had become the reason the world didn’t look as bleak. Why he had thrown every bottle he had occasional drank from his penthouse and place he knew he visited or slept in. And why he kept checking the vitals for his too young too naive spider-kid. In a matter of small interactions that then been lumped too daily visits, they had it gotten to the point that made Tony scared of how parental he was getting. Rhodey had not been impressed either when he had visited his penthouse.   
   
“You’re being too hard on yourself Tones. So, what if Peter called you dad the other day.” He had laughed earlier and teased him, but when it had slipped that Tony was freaking out more than being happy Rhodey had gone straight to what he did best. Comforting his idiot genius. “It just means that the two of you are closer.”   
   
Tony had twitched from his best friend’s speech. His hands wanted to do something as there had been an edge of unused energy coursed through him. Pepper had heard the conversation too when he had offered in driving Peter back home. Happy ended up being the one to drive the blushing and stammering teen away but it still hadn’t made it less awkward back to where Tony was with Pepper. It had been a nice moment. She had smiled when she had watched it unfold.   
   
But when he had gone stiff and stuck inside his head, she had done her best to usher Tony to sleep after dinner. Now, with Rhodey there, Tony still had been trying to keep his children under the radar. Easier said than done when his best friend had been giving the same looks Pepper knew. It had been tough to keep his emotions at bay since he had people from his circle growing. Although, it had been Peter that made it all harder.   
   
He just had that outlook in life that was different, yet the same for Tony to understand.   
   
“Howard never gave me any real happy memories as a father.”   
   
Tony knew how a life felt like when he had someone like Howard. And since after his death, Tony still felt bitter in the memories that they shared. Unconsciously he had chosen the words dad and father and linked them with Howard’s parenting. That had been why he had wary of kids, why it had stung when Peter called him dad, but it had been with a positive connotation. It had been bittersweet that he had been wincing inside as well melting. It shouldn’t have been confusing or awful that Peter struck that kind of reaction towards Tony.   
   
He had wanted a close relationship with him. His parental instincts woke up when he had first met him; and that had only increased after every incident Pete got himself into. He needed to protect him. Needed to get over the word dad from his own father’s bad light.   
   
“And?”   
   
Tony peered over. “So, if I screw up—” he took a deep breath. “I don't think I can come back if I lose anyone else.” (Especially an innocent kid.)   
   
He had lost too many, had risen above all conflicts, but he couldn't risk losing Peter too.   
   
“Tony you aren’t Howard and you will never be.”   
   
It should have comforted him to hear that out loud.   
   
“I know.” He really did. But sometimes it felt like if he slipped and said the wrong thing, he would only inch closer to Howard’s level. “But it doesn’t stop my mind from going there.”   
   
When he had met up with Peter it had been on a Monday afternoon after school. Pepper had waved hello to Peter before going to a meeting while Rhodey had been fixing up a late after school snack for them all. Tony had FRIDAY setting up for a movie.   
   
“Hey there kid. How was school?”   
   
He still felt Rhodey’s subtle glance when he opened up to Peter with an easy smile. (It hadn’t been fake, it couldn’t ever be when it concerned him.)   
   
“Oh. Um, okay.” Peter’s backpack was still perched on his shoulders and his curls were growing longer that it started hiding his face from Tony the way he dipped down his head. “In P. E we had to run a mile, so I had to make sure I didn’t run faster than last year.”   
   
“Ah.”   
   
The silence that stretched where it shouldn’t have been in the first place made him panic. With the snacks ready and the movie playing Tony had been waiting for Peter to talk about that night. Usually he was quick to apologize and overthink everything he said that Tony had been worried when Peter was slower with his puns and smiles.   
   
Mid movie, Peter cracked. “Mr. Stark.” His head was still lowered.   
   
“Yeah buddy?”   
   
“I’m sorry that I called you dad the other day ago.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “It just sort of slipped up and I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” 

 

   
   
_“You haven’t finished that project yet? I gave you ample time.”_    
   
_“I’m sorry da—father.”_  

 

 

   
_“Keep ditching classes and roaming around those people will not help you reach into MIT Anthony.”_    
   
_“Yeah, well maybe I don’t want to go there! Maybe I want to have a choice in where my life goes.”_    
 

 

   
_“Tony, please you shouldn’t fight with your father every time we had a meal together as a family.”_    
   
_“I’ll stop when he does.”_    
 

 

 

Carefully Rhodey had left them to have a private conversation. The movie had been pushed to a mute on command on Tony. “I... didn’t exactly have the best example of what a father should have been while growing up.”   
   
“Mr. Stark.”   
   
He patted his shoulder. “I know you didn’t mean any harm kid. Seriously, I just don’t want to overstep that position since you had your uncle longer than your bio dad.”   
   
“You aren’t.”   
   
“What?”   
   
Peter looked at him directly with a soft smile. “You aren’t overstepping. I  _was_ the one that called you, dad. But if it's too inappropriate then—”   
   
Tony cut him off. “No, it's okay. I... you are like the son I never thought I would ever get. I like mentoring you and if you see me like a dad, then I'm proud to call you my son.”   
   
“Really?”   
   
“Definitely.” 

 

 

 

“Mr. Stark?”   
   
His head whipped up. “Yeah kid?” The cards had still been mocking him even if he wasn’t looking at them.   
   
“It's okay if you don’t want to play the game. I can just clean it up and ask someone else.”   
   
“No!” He toned down his voice. “No, we still haven’t started yet.”   
   
And they hadn’t. Peter had been explaining the whole game and rules when he saw them. Whether it had been a cosmic joke or not, he didn’t appreciate the timing. Peter didn’t look like he believed that Tony wanted to play the game. And he himself wasn’t sure if it had been a good idea either.   
   
Cards Against Humanity would be the death of him, Tony just knew. After all, how could it have been possible for them spelled out his whole life right now? And before it even started.   
   
“If you really want to play, I have Sorry and Candy Land too.”   
   
“How about Uno?”   
   
Peter didn’t bat his eyes. “Of course, I do!”   
   
The final score was: Tony 4 — Peter 6. 


End file.
